Looking back on January one year ago, I can't believe what a hard time I was having. It is hard for me to read blog posts I wrote then because I was so unhappy and I feel that again when I read it. Dealing with my Granddad's cancer, my bad class, and my bad boss was a lot for me. It seems like a long long time ago now.
February posts last year make me laugh because I was in a very bad place emotionally, but rationally I was dealing with exactly the same issues I am dealing with right now. How will the state's budget affect me? Is teaching really what I want from a career?
Except for the stunt at the end of the school year, March was the climax of my problems with principal Sadie. I was under so much pressure at work. I was actually losing weight, and I was skinny anyways. That was a tough, tough month for me. I turned twenty-four, but I felt like I should be turning about fifty.
I hate to read my April posts because I see that I really wasn't doing a very good job at this point. If I could talk to me in April, I would just give me a hug. It's not that I wasn't trying. It was the stress and pressure getting to me. I always always cared, but I was not at the top of my game in April. If I had April to do over again, I would do a lot differently, but then again whose to say I could do anything differently if I was under that level of stress again.
May was the end of that bad school year that I had. It was also when Principal Sadie pulled that awful stunt. Knowing what I now know, about why all that happened and things she said to other people; it makes me really mad that she did that to me. The ends have been okay, but I don't think the ends justify the means in this case.
June was a much needed break for me.
July is when I started thinking about where I was going. I needed that long to get over being forced to switch grade levels on the last day of school, but I knew that I had to do my best in my new assignment whether I wanted it or not. I was starting to think about a new school year where I didn't have that difficult class, I didn't work for Principal Sadie, and I was going to teach younger kids.
In August, I spent a lot of time waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did. I adjusted to switching around and I enjoyed teaching a lot more when I wasn't working for Principal Sadie.
In September, I really started getting over my complex that I was a bad teacher. I was actually starting to enjoy teaching again.
October went by fast for me. I was in a routine and things ran smoothly.
November is when I started wondering seriously about what will happen next year. It was a big month for education politics in my state. I was also thinking about where I want to go (gradelevel) if I am given a choice next year.
December was a great month. This Christmas Break has been very relaxing. I am actually excited to go back to work and start third quarter with my class. This school year has certainly been very different from last school year.