I was at dinner with some friends the other day and someone was asking me all about my career. "Do you love it?" he asked me. I hesitated because I know the expected answer for a teacher is yes. I said no.
There are times when teaching is very satisfying. It is, all encompassing, though. It demands sacrifice, though.
I am not completely stressed out by my job anymore, but it is still hard and exhausting. That's what makes it scary. It's not stress taking its toll on me. Workload and level of responsibility are taking their toll on me.
Am I happy? Yes, I am. Are there things I love about my job? Yes. I just haven't known much else as an adult. I don't know if I would be happier with a nine to five job that might be more menial. I don't know what twenty or thirty years of this demanding work might do to me. I don't know if I would keep doing it if I did. Honestly, I know teachers who have had difficulty or ended marraiges due to overworking. I know teachers with stress related health concerns.
Some people balance it. Some spend there lives doing it and would never take it back. Am I like that?? Would I even be thinking this way if I hadn't had such a bad experience? Is last year a warning I shouldn't ignore? Would I willingly sign on for another year teaching if I knew it would be like that? I'm not sure.