Friday, April 23, 2010

Psalm 73

Surely God cares about children and those who help them.

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
I envied the arrogant
when I saw how easy life was for those who live for themselves.
They don't worry about paying bills;
they don't feel guilty when they don't work hard.
They don't take on the burdens of others;
they're not conflicted.
They have all the power.
They don't hear God calling them to sacrifice.
They take and take, but don't give.

That is what it is like to live for yourself.
It is easy and carefree.

What a fool I am.
Believing in a calling, and acting on that belief.
All day long it is hard;
I have been punished every morning.

If I say, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

...

When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by the right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire accept you.
My flesh and my strength may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

Sometimes you walk into a sanctuary, and sometimes you walk into an office, and sometimes a sanctuary is an office. Today I needed to be reminded that God is my portion. I have been doing a pretty good job of feeling monumentally sorry for myself. I teach because God put me there. By going around with the attitude I've had I betray the kids God put in my room.

At the beginning of the year, when I was so unhappy about moving gradelevels, I had to realize that whatever kids God brings into my room, He does it for a reason. Wherever this crazy journey is taking me, I have God holding me by the right hand.

I found my faith again today.


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