When I was a little girl I had some bad habits that my mother tried to break me of. I was always leaving the light on, the radio going, the cereal box out, or the door open. I don't have the same drive to finish things well that I have to start them. I have a lot of half-read books. I have even more half written pieces. All these things are minor, but my tendency to switch courses runs deeper. For example, this is the first year that I haven't moved in six years (although part of that is due to college). I switch churches all the time. I am trying to stick with things more, but I also know that when you've turned off all the lights and the radio and closed the door that it is okay to change rooms.
I say all of this because I have that bug again recently. I just want to have a new adventure.
I started to feel that way last year, but I recognized that I just had a difficult task before me and did not run away. Now, it is different, though. I like what I am doing. I don't feel stressed out and I have a very pleasant life.
It is not that I want to abandon teaching altogether. Honestly, I've spent the last seven years of my life learning how to teach. It's just that I am in the same city, same district even, I went to elementary school in. I am grateful to them because they have taught me a lot, but I think it is time for something new. For the first time in my teaching career, I know that I have something to give as a teacher. I still have a lot to learn, but I know can do well enough to be an effective teacher. I have a desire to try this skill out somewhere else.
This idea has been growing in my head for a couple of months now, but I kind of want to teach overseas. I started thinking about teaching in China, Japan, or S. Korea when I was looking at the possibility of another rif. I am realizing, though, that I was kind of hoping all this would occur so that I could go teach overseas.
As a Christian, it is hard for me to know when my flawed nature is prompting me to always be wanting something different and when God is prompting me to go. I went to college hundreds of miles from home (in spite of my local scholarships) because I wanted a change. Yet, I know God worked in my life through that. How do I know now if I am just being fickle or if God really wants me to change courses?