Saturday, January 16, 2010

Questions to Not Ask Your Single Friend at a Wedding

I had to go to a wedding tonight. The wedding ceremony was during a PLAYOFF GAME for the local football team. They got annihilated anyway, but I have never seen so many well dressed people stringing headphones through their dress clothes. So, I will say that my mood during the reception (after my team lost) was a little unpleasant anyway, but I would have been annoyed by the way people talk to me at weddings even without that. Why is it that everyone at a wedding feels the need to give me backhanded compliments about being too (pretty; beautiful; stunning; you fill in the blank) to not have a date? That is not really a compliment! It's more like saying, "Even ugly people get dates--what's wrong with you?!!" Anyway, in honor of the wedding I was at, here is a list of typical wedding questions I get. I am also including the real answers that I give and the answers that I should give.

1.) What are boys thinking by not dating you?
Real Answer: I don't know; if I knew what boys were thinking, I would probably get more dates.
Answer I Should Give: Usually guys my age are thinking that they would like to have sex with someone without a committment or they are thinking that they want to find a wife to take care of them. I don't believe in casual sex and I am not exactly the type to exude domesticity, so here we are.

2.) If someone as young and pretty as you can't get a date; is there any hope for the rest of us?
Real Answer: I am just looking for the right person--like everyone else--and it takes time.
Answer I Should Give: I assume I have some other major problems I am currently unaware of.

3.) Have you ever considered E-Harmony? (I really have been asked this at weddings.)
Real Answer: I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.
Answer I Should Give: Thanks for the totally intrusive and inappropriate question!

I just wish that people could accept me for what I am right now. I am single, and maybe I will always be single or maybe I will meet the right guy, but either way I want to be accepted as complete on my own. If you see me alone at a wedding, just ask me if I've met the cute single groomsman or if you are him ask me to dance. Really, just skip the backhanded compliments.

No comments: