Thursday, August 6, 2009

I Am Starting to Like It in Third Grade

It makes me feel guilty, because my old team is not liking the situation as much. I feel like it is partly my fault because when I got so upset over the change, I think it made them even more dissatisfied with it. Consequently, they never wanted to like their new teammate and they never wanted to like their team without me.

Yet, logically it is not my fault. I didn't choose to move. I didn't choose to get upset (despite what the lovely principal accused me of). Believe me, if I could have avoided the embarrassment of crying my eyes out on the last day of school, I would have. I didn't choose to put someone on my old team that wasn't a great fit. This was an administrative decision.

I just feel bad because I had a really good time at Meet the Teacher and setting up some stuff with my new team, but they don't seem to be having the same good time. It is tough to see them having team problems, and see myself fitting in pretty well with a new team.

It is kind of nice though to see a good quality in myself as a teacher for a change. I spend a lot of time wondering if I am just awful at this recently, but I do see now that I bring an atmosphere of cohesion to a team. I didn't just get put on a perfect team; I helped make it that way.

Wouldn't it have been nice if the principal had just acknowledged that when she moved me? Instead of making it out to be pure punishment for me, she could have told me that I would be a positive addition to their team. She made it seem like I would just be less of a hindrance than I was on the fifth grade team. Aye yay yay! I will never understand all that.

For now, I am trying to think about how I can help my former teammates. They've helped me a lot through this and now I need to help them.

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