My nephew came over today. He's almost two weeks old now. I was holding him and it was fun and sweet until he started to get mad. I definitely handed him off as soon as he started to get upset because I don't know how to deal with babies. Babies are takers by nature. Seriously, they need you to do everything for them and I don't know where to begin. I have a lot of respect for parents, but I know I will be terrified if and when I am one.
As a teacher it's all about giving. Working with kids is kind of like volunteering for a life of being the giving one. Seriously, it's you versus twenty-five takers. I knew that getting into it. In spite of that, I am often sucked into the vortex of self-pity. There are those times, like last week, for example, that leave me feeling like I have nothing left to give.
Thursday night, for example, after the final parent teacher conference. I felt like I had nothing left. I had been talking and talking, and teaching and teaching. Yet, I felt empty on the inside. I got into my car and pulled out of the parking lot. Immediately tears were streaming down my face.
It was exhaustion and it was grief. The moment passed and I feel better. Yet, it got me to thinking about why I went down this path in the first place.
The reason I got into teaching is because I have a lot to give. The reason that I have a lot to give is because when I was a taker much was given to me. I'm like a well; my strength and agility and goodness runs deep. Even on bad days, like last week, I have so much to draw from. My God and my family have given so much. To whom much is given, much is required.
If even a little bit of the people who raised me rubbed off, I hope I can pay it forward.
1 comment:
Many teachers do want to pay it forward. Some teacher, parent, someone did something amazing to help us change our lives and we want to do something to give back.
It is the thing that keeps us going even after it's all been taken from us.
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