Saturday, February 5, 2011

More Unpublished

Ha. I have a secret trove of unpublished entries. This post was meant to be one of them, but it turned out more generic than I thought, so here it is.

I have a date on Sunday. Maybe and sort of... Maybe, because it may or may not happen at this point. Sort of because it is more of casually meeting a friend of a friend at a superbowl party--but then again it is a friend of a friend who wants to meet me. In any case, people tell me it is a date and maybe it is.

The guy in question seems nice enough. My friend tells me he is smart and quiet--two qualities I can appreciate. Apparently, he is an engineer, he never swears, and is not a player. The swearing thing has been highlighted for me because as far as my general acquaintances know I never swear. I do actually swear if the occasion calls for it, but in my opinion the occasion is rare.

I don't know, though, I don't really want to follow through and meet him. I kind of hope that my nephew will come and I'll have to cancel or he won't be at the party (which is still a possibility). I mean, the guy sounds good in theory, but making it real is scary to me.

A very similar situation happened to me at the basketball game the other night. I met this guy and he was nice and I talked to him most of the night, but when he wanted my number I just didn't trust him enough to give it to him.

I have blamed my lack of relationships on my workaholic ways on not meeting people and I don't even know what else. I always have something some rationalization, but I'm not being open and it is time for me to change. I mean, I quit the dating site, not because I couldn't find anyone to go out with but because I didn't like dating a lot of guys I don't know. I refuse to meet anyone when I go out. If I'm going to refuse to be set up or meet someone in public, then I've pretty much eliminated all options. The logical conclusion is that I cause the problems that I have.

P.S. Kelly Clarkson is not my general musical taste, but the song seemed appropriate.

1 comment:

ksquirkyteacher said...

I want to thank you for writing this. I'm in exactly the same boat, and now I don't feel quite so alone in my struggle to find someone.