Thursday, February 10, 2011

Anonymity and Honesty

There are only a few people who actually know me who also know about this blog. No one who lives in even the same state as me knows about this. No one in my family knows about it. I stay anonymous because I want to write about the good, the bad, and the ugly in my life as a teacher. I can't do that publicly.

I have a lot of fun writing here because I know people are going to read it, but I don't have to worry about hurting feelings or stepping on toes or seeming like the perfect teacher who has everything figured out or seeming like a responsible adult who has everything figured out. It also helps keep me honest with myself.

For example, people ask me all the time, "What made you want to be a teacher or why do you teach?" It would be easy enough for me to keep giving a canned response like, "I just love the kids; it's sooo rewarding; or I always loved playing school." By now, I would probably convince myself of whatever I say, except that I am always writing to my secret internet friends about how I am not so sure that I want to be a teacher even after four years and how I am not sure what possessed me to ever become one.

That's also why I've been writing about my faith. Sometimes it is easy enough for me to say what people want to hear, but I admit what is bothering me here. Even when I pray, I could try to say what I think God wants to hear, but I remember that aside from His being omniscient I keep a written record of what I am really thinking.

So, thank you to all who read this. Most of you I don't know, but I get to share my life with you in a way I can't share it with a lot of people.

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