Monday, September 6, 2010

A Little Tanner, A Little Older--Whoops I Mean Wiser

When I look at myself in the mirror, ultimately, there is only one thing I want to see. I want to see a girl or a woman who does the right thing. In my career and in my personal life and in my family I try to follow my moral compass.

Months ago one of my best friends came to me and asked for help. She was in a bad marriage and was literally afraid to leave her husband. She was also afraid of what she would do to herself if she remained in this relationship. I didn't hesitate and I didn't question her. I just said, "I will help you." My roommate who is also best friends with this girl responded exactly the same.

I have never wavered in my decision to help her. I understand that I am taking on personal risk because the man she is leaving is quite unstable. I understand that I am taking on gossip because my friend isn't going to air her dirty laundry and people who don't know the whole story see things differently.

I have had to cover all the windows in my house. I had to warn my work not to allow any personal visitors to my classroom. I had to stay out of my house so that he couldn't come find me this weekend.

I am completely satisfied with my choice. I am anxious about danger I might have taken on, but I accept risk. The thing that is shocking me most as my friend has made this decision is the reaction of my Christian brothers and sisters.

My friend has had people sending her scripture saying she would be damned to Hell for seeking divorce. There are so many rumors flying around about my friend and also me and my roommate.

I knew that the man who my friend was leaving would have an over the top and irrational reaction. I had no idea that so many others who have only surface knowledge of this situation would judge her and me apparently.

I pray that I can continue to handle all of this with grace. I know why I did what I did to help my friend and I do not question that. Let people talk and do what they will.

1 comment:

Amanda from Michigan said...

ive been wanting to leave a comment about this for the past couple days but i really dont know what to say. im shocked but i can easily imagine that you are in a very different area than i am. around here, a woman would almost never be looked down upon for wanting a divorce. i wish you all the best of luck and i hope that you all remain safe. perhaps a restraining order might be of interest, you shouldnt have to live in fear of this man. please keep us updated if you can.