I had an amazing weekend, but for the first time in a long time I am feeling that anxiety going back to work. Not because of the kids and not because of the administration or parents or anything like that. I just hear the battle drums approaching. The year is on it's way out, and that means facing what is going to happen next year. Some people are either in denial or they really don't see the writing on the wall, but there are going to be a lot of cuts and soon. It is all over the news and we just got an e-mail saying a rif is "likely." It sucks.
Apparently my school district is going to honor the April 15 contract date that our legislature threw out this year. That means that we will get a definite answer about who is rifed by then (at least preliminarily). What I mean is that it is likely to be a large number of pink slips, but some of them may be rescinded if and when the sales tax increase passes.
I don't know why I would actually be happier to have a pink slip in my hand than to just have the threat of one. It will still leave a lot of unknowns. Will I be rehired? Will I work somewhere else in the state? Will I do something different entirely. What will I do about my final semester of graduate school in a district program?
I just like to feel that the powers that be are being straightforward. I just want them to quit being so mysterious and publically say, "yes, you're job is being cut." It is not like that is going to be a good thing, but at least it is an honest thing.
It will take a bigger bite out of my motivation, though. Maybe that is why they are being so mysterious. They want me to hang on to hope so they can squeeze the best service out of me they can get before they throw me out on the street. Awesome.