Friday, October 29, 2010

The Silence in Me

I am usually the kind of person who people tell things to, but I keep a lot to myself. A lot.

I have had a long week. I've been waking up at night, having anxious dreams, crying in the car; I've been in over my head a little. The thing is that I haven't breathed a word to anyone. I worked. I worked more hours than I care to calculate with graduate school, parent teacher conferences, and Fall Festival.

It's not that I haven't had opportunity to tell anyone. It's just that I haven't wanted to.

My mom came into my school on Wednesday afternoon to tell me that my Grandmother on my Dad's side passed away. We didn't talk about it and I haven't seen her since. I still went to our school Fall Festival dressed as a ballerina and I didn't tell anyone what was going on with me. I got home at about 7:30.

Then I realized that I had missed a bunch of text messages from friends about drama with the divorce situation. My house is still looking like a bunker. I called my friend and listened to her for a while.

I still arrived at work by 6:30am the next morning to prep for a twelve hour day between teaching and the first day of parent teacher conferences. Then, I had to check my bank account because it was pay day. My budget for gas and food is approximately 40$ for the next two weeks. I got home at about 7:15.

Today was just a blur. The last day before Halloween... I came home today and fell asleep on my couch by about 7.

3 comments:

Ricochet said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost three of my grandparents while in college - and it is never easy.

Mrs. H said...

Hang in there!

Not Quite Grown Up... said...

Try to rest during the weekend. I hope next week is a little better for you.

My grandfather just died two weeks ago, so I can sympathize with you on that part. I don't know what your relationship with your family is, but if you want to, make sure to take the time off from work to be with them.