Never Throw Your Pearls to the Swines

Their heeeeeeeeeeere! Swine Flu has broken out at my school. There are two confirmed cases in third grade. Sadly, one student is in the hospital on breathing machines tonight.

As of Monday:

1. The kids are not allowed to use the drinking fountains anymore.
2. The kids have to wash their hands several times daily.
3. We have to give hand washing lessons.
4. The use of bathroom passes at school is prohibited.

Hopefully this can really be contained. Reports from people that I know are that it is very very severe.

Ghost Story

I was in the library today when one of the parents was buying books from the librarian with her child. The little girl bought one book that was a Horror book. The mom said, "I'm gonna have to read that before you read it... because I can see ghosts. Ever since I was a little girl, I've had the gift. It's the Native American blood. Whenever I can't see them, I can sense them."

I was kind of standing in the background during this little exchange. The parent was addressing Marion, the librarian. At this point Marion looks at her and says, "Are there any here?"

Of course, this joke was lost on the parent. She said something to the effect that although she hadn't seen any she always checked. She then went on to say she had predicted September 11 in 1981.

Fall Festival

Today was the annual Fall Festival at my school. Every year, teachers and students dress up and eat and play games. A good time is had by all.

A few of the teachers at my school agreed to dress for the theme of "Dysfunctional Beauty Pageant." I was Ms. Conduct, but there was also a Ms. Understood. Ironic, huh?

My Thoughts on IEPs, Behavior Plans, and the Modern Approach

When did discipline become antiquated?

Our "problem students"

Over Medicated...

Strategized, Categorized, Analyzed, Catalyzed... To what end?

Oh child, you haven't got a friend.


Why should hard work be ameliorated?

Difficult tasks and words and thoughts

Deflated.

Politicized, Economized, Patronized, Glitterized... All this...for who?

You lost your will to pursue!

Overstimulated

Information Intoxicated

Pop-Culture Indoctrinated

ADD and ODD and OCD and ADHD

Victims of DNA?

Does your disorder leave you incarcerated?

Poor choices should be anticipated.

Self-control obliterated!

Millennial Kids We Tried to Protect

We Failed to Correct, Expect, and Affect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUJiMBgvD1c

Scary School: A Halloween Edition

It was midnight. The scariest day of the year had begun: It was report card day. The big dark school was empty save one teacher finishing the third grade report cards. The only sound to be heard was the proverbial tapping of Ms. Understood's keyboard.

Ms. Understood slumped over her keyboard and fell into a troubled sleep as she worried over the "F"s she had given. She peeled one tired eye open and noticed a strange light seeping under the door from the dark hallway.

She followed the light until she found it's source. It was coming from room 13, the former time out room. Use of the time out room had been halted years ago due to the popular opinion that it hurt the self-esteem of good little children. With a trembling hand, Ms. Understood opened the door.

The room was empty. No furniture. No people. Nothing, except for one sheet of paper laying in the corner. The paper was face down, but something red seemed to glow within it. She turned it over. The words: "I Know What You Did Last Semester" glared at her in red pen. She was horrified! Everyone knows that writing in red pen damages students!!!

She dropped the paper and turned to run out. Before she could leave the door slammed shut. "You're in time out now, Ms. Understood," said a childlike voice, "You've been a bad teacher."

Ms. Understood tried to scream, but couldn't find the strength. She was never heard from again.

truth: The only facts in this post are that I was doing report cards by myself after dark in the school. It really is scary.

I Am Not Paranoid; I Just Know Everyone Is Out to Get Me!!!!

Yesterday, I got this e-vite to my classroom observation from the new principal (maybe I should stop calling him that).

truth:Everyone is being observed before Thanksgiving and everyone is getting e-vites.

2nd truth: My old friend, Principal Sadie, never did an announced observation last year even though she is required to, so I should really feel better about the fact that the new principal is following protocal.

Anyway, I immediately became paranoid. I know Principal Sadie left a big fat file on me. She, of course, did not let me read it, but I can imagine. Actually, I once caught a brief glimpse of it when she slapped it in front of me to show me where she had highlighted all parent complaints given on fifth grade teachers. I was lucky enough to have all the complaints about any fifth grade teachers attributed to me. The surveys didn't say who, but she felt sure they were about me. Anyway, I've always been waiting for the new principal to follow whatever awful advice she gave him. (This advice probably included things like pointing out everything I do wrong or could do better and not giving me an inch because my intolerable insubordinance would kick in.) To the new principal's credit, he has left me alone completely. I couldn't have worked for anyone better this year, because if there is any key to me succeeding this year and continuing in teaching, it is that I need room to figure things out.

All this to say, that I was getting really paranoid. He said he was coming for my Reading block. "Oh no," I thought, "He must know that Reading is my weakest subject to teach. He probably already has a list of problems he wants to observe." I was getting really freaked out. What if he has a surprise file to slap in front of me?

This morning, the other third grade teachers were telling me that at our team meeting I missed on Wed they looked at the scores for district Reading tests and mine were really high. Apparently, the new principal told them he noticed this. Maybe he actually wants to look at what I might be doing right. Lord knows, I could use some attention for good test scores after all the "accountability" I got for low ones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgG-Ilvd8GE

I Am Not Good at Being Home All Day

I've always been like this. I can't stand the thought of missing class. When I was a student, I would try so hard to hide being sick from my mom because I couldn't stand staying home. I still feel that way.

The first thing I did this morning was make a list in my head of all the things I forgot to prepare.
1.) I forgot to change my handwriting lesson, so the sub wouldn't have to start cursive for the first time.
2.) I forgot to warn my sub that I have a student who speaks no English.
3.) I forgot to bring home my gradebook, so I'll be ready to send weekly progress reports tomorrow.

The second thing I did was play the budget game using online banking.
1.) I was crunching numbers to see how much I need to save to pay my upcoming bill. Looks like I will make it without a loan.
2.) I was crunching numbers for all of my upcoming bills. It will be really hard!
3.) I was crunching numbers for how much all this earns me in about a year when I am done. It is not that much, but it will feel that way when I stop paying huge tuition bills and start getting a little bit more.

The third thing I did was to check my e-mail. I want to answer a bunch of e-mails I haven't gotten to, but it seems like bad form as I am out sick...