Maybe your twenties are supposed to be about figuring things out. I did figure out something about myself this week. I've been writing on here about something I've been calling my struggle with faith.
I found faith young. I defined my faith with theology in college. Since college, I've had to learn to live it. Life is a redemptive process, and for me the "live it" phase has been hardest.
The thing that I am figuring out is that I am having more of a hard step than a struggle. Being with my family this week was cool because everyone has loosened up without losing their faith.
Most of us =), were able to sit and have a drink together. It was normal and natural. We also just enjoyed sarcastic humor and company. Lately I've been worried that these things are vices, but somewhere deep down I know that they're not.
I got home today and I realized that for the first time in a long time I want to get up and go to church tomorrow and I want to pray. It also got me to thinking about some of my behavior recently.
I've kind of been floating around without much of an anchor. I don't feel bad about going out and drinking with my friends a lot, but I haven't been temperate at all. I think that drinking is okay, but a partying lifestyle isn't. I realized that I do need to be more temperate. I have been thinking that it doesn't really matter if I drink too much with some friends as long as I am responsible and don't drive. I still don't think that accidentally drinking too much is a sin--it's just that if you do it all the time it does leave you open to poor choices. Life isn't about partying and I do believe in sin. Honestly, earlier this summer I was drinking and I was about to do something that no matter how liberal you are you would realize it's a sin. The only reason that I didn't do it was circumstantial. I didn't even think about it being very wrong until now because I didn't actually go through with it.
As I was saying, in my twenties, I am thinking a lot about who I want to be because I could still be a lot of different ways. I hear God talking to me about who I should be and it is the most clarity I've had in a good while.