Today, blog friends, I won a major award. I won the award for Best Employee of All Time. It was an ultraHD FLip video camera. Awesome, right?
How did they decide who was the best employee of all time, you ask. Was it a vote? No, it wasn't a vote. Was it based on test scores? Goodness no, it wasn't based on test scores. Was it based on hours put into the job? Not so much.
It was decided by a sorting hat. The hat said I belonged in Slitherin, but the camera was my consolation prize. Just kidding, it was decided by casting lots, and God chose me. Okay, it was kind of decided by a sorting hat which cast our lots. We put the names of all the employees into a hat, and out popped mine. Some have called it random or a raffle, but I won't let them rain on my parade.