Irony

I have this set of parents that excuse their child's behavior. They are the worst I have ever seen in that regard. Today, she brought a note home back and said, "My mom said these don't matter and she doesn't care." Lovely.

I informed her mom and she explained to me how all the things her daughter does are typical behaviors for this age.

She is an excellent defense attorney for her daughter. The irony is that I predict if she doesn't quit being her daughter's lawyer and start being a parent, then she will one day have to pay for a defense attorney to represent her daughter.

They Say That I'm a Dreamer

"They say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not."

Did anyone else find that line in Dinner for Schmucks hilarious? I did.

Anyway, I really am a dreamer. I have really vivid dreams every single night. Sometimes I can remember two or three. Only very recently, am I beginning to realize that not everyone is like this. I don't know if something is wrong with my sleep cycle or I spend a lot of time stressed, but sometimes I wish I could not have dreams.

Last night I was having a pleasant dream. I was coming home from traveling Europe with my mom and we were going through the local airport with all of our luggage. It was all very pleasant. Then I thought, "How can I just be in the airport with my mom when we went to Europe four years ago?" I realized it was a dream.

Then bad things started to happen, and we had to fight off people until I woke myself up. All day this dream bugged me because I am very present in all of my dreams. I think it is hard to explain to someone who doesn't remember dreams, but sometimes I don't like that I have a whole crazy subconscious life every night.

Minesweeper

Have you ever played the game minesweeper? It is this game where you are diffusing a field of landmines by clicking on safe squares which reveal how many landmines you are touching. For example, if you click on an "3" then that square has three landmines touching it.

Making a seating chart for my class is exactly like playing minesweeper. You have to place all of the landmines so they are touching only safe squares. If you fail, there will be a catastrophic explosion!!!!

Anyway, it is the Crazy Eight that are making this difficult. I have to give the other students a break from the particular brand of crazy they were sitting by last quarter, but rest assured I will have to place them by a different issue.

It is hard work!

Today, dear readers, I will introduce you to the types of behaviors I encounter on a daily basis. Another day I will describe the personalities and gifts of each student with more depth, but for today I will share only behaviors that are typical. This will give you a snapshot of why all the answers are not in the Teacher's Manual.

1.) The Hulk

Sometimes the Hulk is not the Hulk. Sometimes he is just a sweet kid who can get along with anyone. However, when he gets a little bit angry or frustrated or sad; he then gets more angry and frustrated and sad. All of his emotions become one super emotion and he turns green. He rips holes in my walls. He is ready to throw down with anyone who crosses his path. He literally heaves breaths in and out when he is in this state. He will throw things. The Hulk has to have a seat by mild mannered children with a quick exit strategy. He is definitely a landmine in my game of minesweeper.

2.) The Taz

The Taz is a tornado. He doesn't do anything quietly. He actually ripped part of the floor up when he was sitting on the carpet one day. He grabs anything within reach--especially other students. He rocks in his chair. He breaks pencils. He chews on his shirt. He is completely disorganized. He loses his own pencil while he is holding it.

3.) Angelica

Angelica is a bully. She has had three different parents call the office at the school regarding her bullying (in the one year she has been here). She will steal out of kids desks. She is defiant. She was actually walked back to the school office by her bus driver one day because of her defiance. She gets other students angry faster than any other student I've ever had (even really even tempered kids).

4-6.) The Lost Boys
The lost boys are just wild. They can sit still for only short amounts of time. They all have tempers, although not to the degree of the hulk. They rarely turn in homework. They are generally disorganized and loud.


7-8.)Mean Girls
This group is a little click. They fight with each other and every other girl on campus all the time. Each and every day there are tears and drama. These are the girls who will actively say, "I don't want to be friends with you." I've had mean girls in my fifth grade classes before, but this year is the first time I have seen a tendency to be mean so young. Yowzer, I told the fifth grade teachers to retire before these girls get there because they are drama, drama, drama.




So, you can see how it is hard to seat these kids in a way that minimizes issues. Put a Mean Girl next to Angelica and you get a cat fight. Put the Taz near the Hulk and the Hulk will be in a constant Hulk state. Let the Lost Boys be near each other and you form a little gang.

Again, I will remind you, I am talking about behaviors not the students themselves. All of the kids have wonderful, redeeming qualities; most have difficult circumstances which feed their issues, but this year is a challenge--especially when it comes to seating!

Believe

Today was my evaluation. It went well. Captain Principal said he sees growth in my use of data to impact student achievement and my confidence over all.

That is true. I've improved a lot over the last two years. Partly because I have so much more experience teaching. A lot because Captain Principal gave me so much room to be the teacher I can be.

There's a Psalm that says, "Fathers, don't exasperate your children." Well, maybe a Proverb??? My scripture knowledge is a little rusty these days.

Anyway, I think that it applies to all types of authority. Bosses don't exasperate your employees. Teachers don't exasperate your students.

During my evaluation, my students had a sub for one half hour. Unfortunately, the only sub we could get was really passive. She came in to do Math as the kids were coming back from lunch. She couldn't get them settled down. They were talking back, running around, and apparently generally out of control. She actually had to call the V.P. to restore order.

I have a student this year that I have nicknamed the Taz (as in Tasmanian Devil). He's one of the crazy eight. He is always making noises and messes. He destroys anything around him. If he doesn't have anything to destroy, he actually chews his own shirt until it soak all the way to the hem. The behavior intervention specialist got him this chew toy he has to chew on to stop him from licking his lips raw and chewing on his shirt. During the course of the year, he has turned around his behavior and improved his grades; but since break he has been just terrible.

The sub singled the Taz out as one of the worst, so I gave him a behavior reflection to fill out, take home, and have signed by his parents. He did fill it out, but he wrote in large letters across the bottom: ROCK ON.

I was pretty mad when I saw that, so I said, "Walk to the V.P.'s office and wait for me until I send the other kids to Music."

After the other children went to Music, I went to meet with the Taz and the V.P. in the V.P.'s office. "Taz," I said, "I don't understand. Before break, you were doing amazing. You improved your Math grades. You improved your behavior. You were doing amazing. Since break, we've had a problem every day, and today when you had to reflect you decided to celebrate your bad behavior by writing 'rock on.' It seems to me that you don't care about your Reading or your Math or school at all anymore."

The Taz is used to ending up in the principal's office for a variety of things, so he didn't break down, but he did soften. "I do care about my reading and my math. On break, I went and visited some family and it made me sad."

He didn't tell all of the details, and I knew some anyway, but he opened up. "Well," I said, "We want to help you make better choices. I want the Taz back who is so smart and so helpful, that was here before break."

After our little talk, he was back on. Well, on as much as the Taz ever is. All week, I've been moving him to seats by himself. I've been making him complete assignments on his break. Yet, the supportive talk was the answer.

I believe in discipline and accountability. I do. Most of the time there should be more. But, fathers should not exasperate their children. Those who follow you have to believe that you believe in them. Teachers have to believe that principals believe in them to succeed. Students have to believe that teachers believe in them to succeed.

Confession: I Might Be Naive

Dear Readers,

I did start this blog three years ago, knowing a few things about myself. I knew that I was young. I was twenty-three, at the time. Actually this blog was originally titled Chronicle of a Young Teacher. I knew I was green. I didn't know a lot about education. I was honestly just trying to keep my head above water. I knew I was naive. I wanted to save the world like everyone else, but it hurt as realities hit me all the time.

I like to think that now I am a little wiser in the ways of the world. If you are thinking that I am still pretty young, I agree; but this job makes you grow up fast. I like to think that I have learned a thing or two about education. It takes a lifetime to be an expert, but at least I know how to properly do my job now.

This weekend, though, I did something I said I wouldn't do. I had declared that I wouldn't watch Waiting for Superman because I didn't think it would be an accurate picture of the state of public education.

I know enough to know that if Waiting for Superman were taken as a light shining and revealing the truth then it would be a gross misrepresentation of American public schools. My school is nothing like the ones portrayed in that movie. Frankly, we do a better job than most of the charter schools portrayed in that movie.

It was surprising to me, though, what it is like in failing public schools. The district I teach for is then highest performing district of its size in my state. I did a little research on my district and every single one of the schools in my district is in the top 20% of schools (that includes private, public, and charter) in this state. Is it because of the demographic? Partially, but we do have a mixed demographic. Our school actually qualified under title one until last year.

My point is that I actually went to elementary school in the same public school district I now teach in. This district is one of the best. That's made me naive about how serious problems in education are.

I guess I always knew that a failing school is fundamentally different from where I work. I always thought of my district as the norm. I'm coming to realize that it is far above that. We're the district that realtors in the area advertise first and makes property value go up. We're the district that people drive to from other districts. We are the exception.

Now, lest you think I am bragging, I don't believe my district outperforms others because of hiring good teachers. There is another district within ten minutes of us that is probably the lowest performing district in the state. Is the key difference the teachers? I don't believe it is. My district hires good teachers and the district down the road hires good teachers. If staffs were switched out entirely, I don't believe the performance would be consistently or profoundly improved in the lower performing district.

The key difference is the demographic. Don't misunderstand me. My district deals with our fair share of issues. We have a high non-English speaking population, we have a large number of students living in poverty, we actually bus kids off of the reservation and the reality is those kids come to us with educational deficits if they've attended school on the reservation at all. We still don't have anything that compares to the district down the road. Those teachers did not cause the issues those schools have. Those kids at those schools did not get a fair deal. "Waiting for Superman" can claim the schools caused the neighborhoods all they want. If my school were switched with that one, we would encounter the same problems.

I guess I do have to realize that public schools are not always as good as or better than private schools.

The other thing I was shocked by is tenure. We don't actually have tenure in this state at all. I've seen a lot of underperforming teachers get fired. The only "bad teachers" I have ever seen (and I am including colleagues and the teachers I had as a student) were novice teachers. What I've noticed is that they are either weeded out and let go or they learn. I have no question in my mind about what would happen if I didn't do my job well--I would be fired. All I've ever seen our unions do is handle frivolous lawsuits and personality disputes between administrators and teachers. I don't honestly know if it is different in other states, but I am starting to believe it might be.

What I can say about Waiting for Superman is this: It was a new and valid perspective. That's how I believe it should be looked at--as one view of a very complex issue. Here's my confession about my blog, though--it's one valid view of a complex issue. Sometimes I think that I have the truth light to reveal how public education really is. That's not the case though. I can reveal a perspective that you haven't experienced at all if you are outside the classroom and that might be very different than your inside perspective. My perspective might lead me to a different conclusion than a parent in an impoverished school district, it might lead me somewhere different than a principal of a private school in a wealthy neighborhood, it might lead me somewhere different than the politicians; but it is important. How are we ever going to work together to answer the issues we have if we can't value the other points of view?

So, in conclusion, readers, thanks for listening. Thanks also for commenting. Thanks also for writing, those of you who write your own blog. Recently, I've realized that there are readers who don't live in Education World, as I affectionately call it. I appreciate your reading what it is like from this side. I appreciate your comments, too. I might see things differently, but I know we're on the same side.

Yours Sincerely,

Miss Understood

As a side note, I want to welcome any suggestions on other education blogs. What do you read? I would like to read more of what people are saying. I am trying to widen my perspective a little.

Of Flora and Fauna

I want to build a little background for this post. It's educational after all, and that is what I do. So, I am going to build some background about where I live.

On the one hand, I would classify my location is urban. It's a ten minute drive to three professional sports arenas. There are three Starbucks within a mile of my house. We don't have any one lane roads. In fact, the four lane road just outside my neighborhood is always packed with traffic, to the point that you can't make a left out of this neighborhood.

On the other hand, I have lived in a really urban setting before and this is different. I don't hear sirens or people yelling outside my window at night. People mostly drive, not walk or take subways to where they are going. Everywhere has parking lots. In that regard, I guess this area is more suburban.

All this to say that I live in a house, actually a duplex, in a rather populated area. We're not surrounded by nature. We're surrounded by concrete and stores and other houses.

I will also say that our house is surrounded by a jungle. We live in the desert, but for some reason we have a banana tree and vines growing up the outside of our house and rose bushes and citrus trees. You might be thinking, "Wow, Ms. Understood, you must have a large yard." No, no I don't; we have a lot of plants in a tiny space. You can imagine that the "urban wildlife" love the oasis of our yard. Now, if you've ever lived somewhere at all urban, you know that urban wildlife is not at all desirable. It is rodents and insects and neighboring pets.

Generally, I try to avoid the flora that is all around the outside of the house. Generally, I try to avoid any fauna that finds its way inside. Over break, however, our duplex mates decided to remove the stone tile in the entry way and kitchen of their home with jack hammers. They gave us ear plugs as a consolation prize. I left them sitting on the counter and they vibrated to the floor as a result of the jackhammering.



All this work has also stirred up the wildlife. I haven't seen a roach in our house for over a year. This week I have found one every day. I sprayed everything with Raid today, but I think the jackhammering is stirring everything up.

I tried to pacify myself with some arranging of fake flowers, the kind bugs do not like. I like the decoration, but it does not compensate for the jackhammering.

The Well

My nephew came over today. He's almost two weeks old now. I was holding him and it was fun and sweet until he started to get mad. I definitely handed him off as soon as he started to get upset because I don't know how to deal with babies. Babies are takers by nature. Seriously, they need you to do everything for them and I don't know where to begin. I have a lot of respect for parents, but I know I will be terrified if and when I am one.

As a teacher it's all about giving. Working with kids is kind of like volunteering for a life of being the giving one. Seriously, it's you versus twenty-five takers. I knew that getting into it. In spite of that, I am often sucked into the vortex of self-pity. There are those times, like last week, for example, that leave me feeling like I have nothing left to give.

Thursday night, for example, after the final parent teacher conference. I felt like I had nothing left. I had been talking and talking, and teaching and teaching. Yet, I felt empty on the inside. I got into my car and pulled out of the parking lot. Immediately tears were streaming down my face.

It was exhaustion and it was grief. The moment passed and I feel better. Yet, it got me to thinking about why I went down this path in the first place.

The reason I got into teaching is because I have a lot to give. The reason that I have a lot to give is because when I was a taker much was given to me. I'm like a well; my strength and agility and goodness runs deep. Even on bad days, like last week, I have so much to draw from. My God and my family have given so much. To whom much is given, much is required.

If even a little bit of the people who raised me rubbed off, I hope I can pay it forward.