The Case of the Secret Cupid Identity Theft

4:00pm Today: I am finally leaving for the day, and go through the office on my way out to turn in some yearbook forms. I look in my mailbox and see a paper stapled with my name on the outside. "This is never good," I think to myself as I rip it open. It was worse than I thought. It was a SECRET CUPID assignment. "What?" I thought, "I did not sign up for this. Could this possibly be mandatory now?" That's when I remembered a strange conversation I had in the staff lounge at lunch.

12:35pm (3 and a half hours prior): BFF team was eating lunch in the lounge and people were ridiculing my oatmeal (which I was eating for the second day in a row because I am too lazy to go to the store right now). Mrs. Partygirl first asked me what my favorite cookie was and then my favorite candy. She asks random questions occasionally so I just answered, but I thought it was weird.

This reminded me about a story I was telling BFF team before school today.

7:00am: Mrs. Party Girl asked us all if we were going to participate in Secret Cupid. This seemed like a good opportunity to run my mouth off about what I think of Secret Cupid. "No, I hate those kind of things," I said. "When everyone was getting Booed at Halloween I ran off copies of Mrs. Bear's flyer so I could put it on my own door and pretend like someone else Booed me. Unfortunately, before I taped it to my door someone Booed me. Unfortunately again, before I could tape the actual flyer from the package to my door someone else Booed me. At least in Secret Cupid you have to sign up and nothing like that can happen."

All of these clues lead me to one conclusion. Mrs. Partygirl forged a SECRET CUPID application and turned it in for me. I have a feeling she did not put things I actually like on the flyer too. It probably says that my favorite drink is malt liquor and I like some sort of gift that is inappropriate. Oh boy, I think I am going to be getting some interesting presents over the next week... Oh, and I will have my revenge against Mrs. Partygirl. In time. In time.